I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
