Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
