Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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