so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
