i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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