I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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