i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
