You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
