worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
