Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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