Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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