Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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