If that was your dad, he is hot
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
