I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
two words...techno handjob
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
