I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
