Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
