Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
