quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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