i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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