I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize