i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
