Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
we made out on top of his cat.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
