There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
No more Irish car bombs ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
