You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
