apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
