ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize