someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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