small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
