just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
