A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
