Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
