Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i think my cat just said my name.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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