i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
