you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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