It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
