her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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