apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My balls are so social today.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
