i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize