i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sext me about skeletons
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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