I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
