youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
