I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Watching her eat just hurts me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize