You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The beer is more important than you right now.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
