My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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