Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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