Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize