Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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