look no pants
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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