it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
