I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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