Moan for me like Helen Keller
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
