Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
