I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize