Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
