No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
