Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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