Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
