Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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