There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
