if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
