Where did you get a picture of my penis
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
