we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's blow job season.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
