I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
