I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
then he tried to convert me to islam
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
