i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
