her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
