This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
